What about my Emotional Capacity (pt. 1)

As a life coach and a leadership trainer, the subject of emotional capacity always comes into play. Whether they are high-level executives who want to become better leaders or someone who simply wants to become successful in reaching their goals. In order to progress in life, they have to be aware of their Emotional Capacity in order for them to reach their full potential.
 
God gave us emotions to add zest to our lives. However, sometimes emotions can get the better of us and get us into trouble. Your Emotional Capacity is the ability to handle adversity, failure, criticism, change, or even pressure in a positive way. Whether you realize this or not, these things create stress in our lives. From my observations, the inability to deal with stress or emotional pressure wears people out. I have seen people including myself, give up, break down, or do unhealthy things (addictions ) to try to escape the pressure. No one is immune. However; when you learn to be emotionally strong , you will be better able to manage your emotions and process them through difficult situations.
 
There are several practices that when applied to your life, will increase your emotional capacity wherein you become an emotionally strong person. The first practice to become emotionally strong is being proactive in dealing with your emotions. Never remain a victim of your own feelings. Don’t catch yourself saying, “that’s just how I feel. I can’t help that.” Remember, emotions are the precursors of emotions.
 
There are things you need to do which will influence your own emotions. Maybe you cannot control them completely, but you can change them through your actions. We see that when God told Cain to do what was right despite what he felt when he wanted to kill his brother. If you feel sad, then laugh. If you are afraid, do it anyway and move ahead. If you feel you never will get out of debt, think the solution, not the problem. If you feel incompetent, remember your past successes. If you are feeling insignificant, then remember your goals if you have any.
 
To give you an example of the aforementioned recommendations, I am reminded of what the Bible says, “put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, lift up your voice to God……..” This is God’s remedy for us when we become sad, depressed or somber. It is an intentional act that we must carry out. God doesn’t ask us how we feel, he doesn’t take a poll nor does he ask for your opinion. he just says, do it. Make sense? Today, make a declaration and say “I will master my emotions before they master me.” To be continued………,,,

Read more...

YOU GOT UP

You probably don’t remember when you were first trying to walk. Or perhaps when you tried riding a bike without training wheels. Ask your parents or grandparents. You fell many times. What did they do when you first tried to walk. They picked you up and you tried again. As toddlers gets older, they discover their ability to cover ground at a much greater rate by running. But to their surprise, they tripped or fell down. They cry, but eventually get up and do it again.
 

As we leave behind our excess baggage; (i.e. fears, regrets, unforgiveness, bad habits, etc) and enter the new year, your greatest victory during 2019 will not be living a mistake free life. Nor will it be when life seems to knock you down to the ground and you were able to take a few punches. You might tell yourself, “I survived.” No, this is not considered victory. You are victorious and more than a conqueror when after being knocked down, you GET UP. This is the mark of a true warrior. I am reminded of when Jesus walked up the road to Calvary. He collapsed while carrying His cross. With a little help of a bystander, He got up and continued to finish what He started. You might not be carrying a cross up a hill, but there were times you fell down and didn’t want to get up because of all the baggage you are carrying. Yet, you got up. No matter how you feel; get up, dress up, show up and never ever give up. Right now, jettison all your unnecessary fears, concerns, worry, doubt and regrets. Once you do that, you will be able to travel light and fast as you fulfill the plans and purposes of God in you life.


Read more...

GOOD

When things are going bad, there is going to be some good that comes from it. You didn’t get that promotion, good, more time to get better> Awee, you didn’t get the job you wanted, good, you can get more experience and have a better resume. Got beat? Good, you learned. You experienced unexpected problems, good, now you have the opportunity to figure out a solution.

You are struggling financially, good, now you will have an opportunity to become more astute in financial management. You went to the doctors because of health problems, good. Now you will have an opportunity to take better care of yourself physically. You are having emotional problems, good. Now you will have a chance to walk in perfect peace as your mind stays on God rather than staying on the problem. Don’t get startled, bummed out, or frustrated when things don’t work out the way you think they should. Just look at the issue and say good, you move forward. If you can say the word, “good,” you are still alive, you have some fight left in you. “and we know that God causes everything to work together for the GOOD of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”


Read more...

BE FREE BY BEING CONTROLLED

Oxymorons are figures of speech in which seemingly contradictory words appear side by side to describe a concept. They are often humorous and intriguing. Like Jumbo shrimp, harmless crime and even non-fat ice cream. When you first see the title “be free by being controlled” sounds impossible. You are probably thinking, “Isn’t the definition of freedom the ability to self-rule without restrictions or controls; or the release from captivity or slavery?” We see in the news many people fleeing their country and migrating to other countries, including the U.S. The problem is not the migrating but the issue is that many people want to come to a country without submitting or obeying the laws of that country. This is a lesson we see clearly and learn frequently throughout life. Obeying the rules or controls of the land provides freedom from the confines of prison. Submitting to your teacher’s control, instruction, learning principles and strategy allows greater freedom to choose the college or vocation you want. Submitting to your coach’s control provides you more freedom from anxiety, pressure and fear when you face a difficult opponent. Submitting to the control of a theatre director or music teacher produces great freedom to explore the art, maximize your expressiveness and freely become the art form. The same is true spiritually. As you submit to the Holy Spirit, stop fighting the way of God, put on the daily armor and let the Holy Spirit guide you in making the right choices in your life. You then become free from the world and are supernaturally empowered by God to achieve your unlimited God-given potential. You are increasingly released from the control and condemnation of sin and then free to truly become the one He created you to be and live the abundant life Christ died for. Today, look at the controls in your life that allow you freedom. Be thankful. Then, look at areas in your life that aren’t working out well. Anything that we are indebted to controls us. Paul wrote, “owe no man anything except a debt of love.” As you move into the year 2019, jettison any emotional baggage you might have. This includes any unforgiveness, offenses, regrets, and grudges that occurred up to this point. Make a concerted effort to release people that had offended, betrayed or hurt you and travel with a light heart into the new year. It is time to remove everything that has weighed you down and re-enter the race that is set before you. Don’t give up but become the person God had intended for you to become.


Read more...

WHERE IS IT?

Are you facing a seemingly impossible situation? Is what you’re asking God for seem unlikely to come to pass? Is your faith being tested?
Perhaps, you feel completely trapped, hedged in and overwhelmed, with no solution in sight. Maybe you’re confronted with a challenge where there is no resolution. Or, your heart is heavy with doubt as you cannot figure out what to do next, for there appears to be nothing you can do about what you now face. If you are on an emotional rollercoaster, you could be wondering, “How can things change for the better?”
However, impossibilities are the platforms upon which God does His best work; have faith. With man it may be impossible. But with God, all things are possible. Have you ever felt you were in a hopeless situation? Today, realize your faith only works in the realm of impossibilities. So, where is your faith? Is it working?
Your faith guarantees the results are inevitable. Your faith keeps you going when everything else tells you to give up and quit. Your faith should be the force that gives you the refusal to quit. You should look into the face of adversity and say, “I like my odds.” When you do this, it gives you an unwillingness to move aside. Your faith should solidify your belief in a cause wherein you become distracted by nothing.
 

Read more...

RIGHT NOW

“This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

Your past is never the gauge of what you become. In any hour, (right now) you can choose to liberate the future. Never make assumptions in life based on what you have done in the past or what everyone else thinks. The future of your life depends on what you do RIGHT NOW. Begin to accept your past for what it was. Start acknowledging your present for what it is and then anticipate your future for what it can become. These will be the thoughts that will shape and govern your life. When you think about it, God told Joshua to be bold, strong, courageous and not to be afraid. Was Joshua’s assignment based on what he had done in the past? Of course not. God was talking to him about what he should do RIGHT NOW. He was showing him where he is and where he should be going. His future and the people he was leading depended on what he was to do at that moment. His RIGHT NOW” moment. He was to anticipate his future for what it can become. If you want something that you never had in you life, you have to do something that you have never done. You will always be afraid to do something that you have never tried before. That is ok. Do it afraid. When you do, you will hear God speak to you in a soft spoken voice that will say, “ I am with you wherever you go.” When you start questioning yourself about whether you can do something or not, remember that it is difficult to define “Impossible”. Your vision or dream that God has given you yesterday IS the confident expectation today. Therefore it becomes your reality of tomorrow….What will be your reality?


Read more...

ATTN: PARENTING

And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ. (1 cor. 11:1)

Whatever role you might be playing at this time; married, single or being a grand parent, if there is anything that you wish to change in the child, first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in yourself. You have influence and you do not need a title or position. Parenting alone has influence. Which kind of influence do you want to have on a child; positive or negative? It is sad that I have witnessed a parent who began screaming because of a phone call, a mom who smokes a cigarette because she is unable to cope with stress, a Dad who begins to drink every day because life’s challenges become overwhelming. What is the child beginning to learn? It is acceptable to lose your temper. screaming at the top of their lungs when encountering difficult people. I have seen many times a mom lashing out at her child in a supermarket because she is trying to manage her kids. There are frequent times I have been in restaurants and witnessed a child out of control and the parents doing nothing. Do you know that doing nothing is teaching children that aberrant behavior is acceptable and a child is learning that any type of behavior (temper tantrums) is acceptable. If you don’t get your way, throw a temper tantrum. Unfortunately, these young children grow up into adults still throwing temper tantrums. But this time, rather than throwing food on the floor, they will punch walls, strike their spouse or significant other. This is learned behavior and the abuser will have all kinds of excuses rather than take responsibility and say it is not their fault. So today’s principle is based on what Paul the Apostle told Timothy, “….and you should imitate me, as I imitate Christ…….. The examples we set as parents for our kids, how we behave when things don’t go our way is much more important than the rules we set for them. Children will become not what you tell them, but they become who you are…………..


Read more...

TIME TO DECIDE

I have been talking about your future and how will your life look like down the road. What is it that we do in the meantime? When you really think about it, your future is not only predicated on what you decide, it is based on what you do every day that matters the most. Make sense? I think every reader will agree that you cannot go back and change your past. Nor should you worry about future events that are outside of your control.

Although you cannot go back and start all over, you can start from now and make a brand new ending. You can decide how your life will end. Sure, your past is important, but not as important to your present as the way you see your future. So, the best way to predict where you will be is to create it. You can stop living your life by default and begin living your life by design. It is never too late. God told Joshua, “Now listen! Today I am giving you a choice between life and death, between prosperity and disaster. For I command you this day to love the Lord your God and to keep his commands, decrees, and regulations by walking in his ways. If you do this, you will live and multiply, and the Lord your God will bless you and the land you are about to enter and occupy.


Read more...

WHAT DOES YOUR FUTURE HOLD? (you decide)

Remember, the last article I had written about the path to happiness. Now you know this path does not exist. It is not there; because it is an illusion. It is not a route among many. Why? Because happiness IS the path that you decide to take.
 
The most simplistic and beneficial way of deriving happiness is to add value to people. This is what the Apostle Paul wrote to the Phillippian Church, “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
There is a truth here at work. Happiness is not the absence of problems, difficulties and challenges; but the ability to deal with and resolve each of them the best way we can.
Understand that you cannot change people, you cannot change attitudes. you cannot change the way they think about you. There are many things in this life that we cannot change. But the one thing in life you can change is the way you respond.
When you finally settle down at the end of the day, you realize happiness has nothing to do with your life’s circumstances. It is all based on your ability to accept the things you are experiencing.  Whatever you are doing in life, remember; do not let the past affect your today because the past is gone.  You cannot change it, you cannot alter it, you cannot relive it.
Like time, it is gone forever so do not live in the memories of the past. The other side of the coin is not letting your future disturb you because it has not come yet.
Finally, happiness is not about getting what you want all the time. It is about loving what you have and being grateful for it. It would be wise to listen to the wisdom written by the Apostle Paul over 2,000 years ago, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. (Phil. 4:11)

Read more...

WHERE IS IT?

Are you facing a seemingly impossible situation? Is what you’re asking God for seem unlikely to come to pass? Is your faith being tested?
 

Perhaps, you feel completely trapped, hedged in and overwhelmed, with no solution in sight. Maybe you’re confronted with a challenge where there is no resolution. Or, your heart is heavy with doubt as you can’t figure out what to do next, for there appears to be nothing you can do about what you now face. On an emotional rollercoaster, you could be wondering, “How can things change for the better?”

However, impossibilities are the platforms upon which God does His best work. Have faith. With man it may be impossible. But with God, all things are possible. Have you ever felt you were in a hopeless situation? Today, realize your faith only works in the realm of impossibilities. So, where is your faith? Is it working? Your faith guarantees the results are inevitable. Your faith keeps you going when everything else tells you to give up and quit. Your faith should be the force that gives you the refusal to quit.

You should look into the face of adversity and say, “I like my odds.” When you do this, it gives you an unwillingness to move aside. Your faith should solidify your belief in a cause wherein you become distracted by nothing.

Today, let your faith be known not only by words, but by your actions and behavior as well.
.

 

Read more...